Telifone
by From Spark to Flame
Summary: Draco is reduced to trying to figure out how to use a telephone when Hermione leaves for a business trip... Unfortunately, he can barely spell telephone, let alone use one. T in the ABCDMHG drabbles.


Disclaimer: The HP series is JKR's.

A/N: Hi…T drabble…yeah I know… I'm late with it… OH SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO (I think thats enough 'so's , but I'll add a few more just to be safe.) so so so so so LATE.

THE ABCDMHG DRABBLES ARE BACK! WHEE! Yay for me for finally typing it...

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Telifone

"Why can't I floo you?" Draco asked with a pout. His wife raised an eyebrow at him and folded her arms over her chest, though her eyes sparkled with silent laughter. She fidgeted slightly in her armchair, adjusting the bag in her lap. Draco grasped the larger bag in his hand and another object in his other hand… the other object being a telephone.

Or, in Draco's vocabulary- a tepilone or a telifon or a horrid machine that wanted to eat his soul and then regurgitate it up somewhere else. Obviously, Draco needed help… serious help. And unfortunately, Hermione couldn't give him that help because she was going away on a business trip for the Ministry.

"Because," Hermione said simply, a smile playing across her pink lips all the while. Draco groaned in frustration, which only lead to a chuckle from Hermione. "Fine…Because I'm going to be acting like a muggle and muggles don't walk into fireplaces-"

"But," Draco started to say, only for his interruption to be interrupted by the one he had interrupted in the first place- if that makes any sense…

"AND I certainly won't have fun explaining to a random muggle that happens to come upon everything that the head in the fireplace is my husband and that I'm not a cannibal trying to eat you."

Draco just stared at Hermione oddly. "REALLY? Cuz I think that'd actually be pretty entertaining," he said enthusiastically.

Hermione gave him an unarming smile and said, "Of course it would… Until I really do cut your head off and roast it on a fire." Draco yelped and backed away from his murderous wife.

"Relax babe! Hey, isn't it time for you to go?" Draco said after a gulp and a pull at his collar. Hermione glanced at the clock and pursed her lips in thought.

"Fine. But you better call me!" She said as she left the house, closing the solid oak door behind her with a thump.

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Draco stared at the phone in his hands… With a sigh, he got up and walked over to the bed and picked up the manual and decided to refresh his knowledge on the odd object.

5 minutes later, Draco threw the manual at the wall, confused by the big words… He'd just wing it. Now, to call Hermione.

Happily, he quickly realized how similar it was to a tape recorder (an awesome artifact he discovered a few weeks before). He could talk into it and hear himself! And in the answering machine… Though of course, he figured out that the numbers you pressed mattered… (This was figured out only after he was yelled out by an old guy about his pervertedness.)

He never ended up getting Hermione's number… and neither did he get to tell her how much he wanted to… erm… never mind. He'd already been yelled at by an old man for saying it. Who knows what everyone else would say when hearing his fantasies.

Poor, pervy, little Draco… well actually, he's pretty big. If you catch my drift.

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A/N: Eww my little brother just spilled water on my laptop… -sigh-

Anyway, I finally posted this… FINALLY! I bet everyone totally forgot about this series. I'm hoping to finish it off soon and get it off my plate.

Haha, you know how most of my stories have random stories behind them that I ramble on about in the A/N? Well this one is particularly epic. I wrote it on a piece of paper on that last day of school and shoved it in the bottom of my bag… Then, I lost it. I looked through all my bags and I couldn't find it in any of them (it doesn't help that the paper is barely half a sheet). I tried rewriting it countless times but it never ended up right (you know how you write something the first time and if you lose it and you try to rewrite it, it's never up to par with the copy that you lost), so now, I'm just like 'SCREW IT!' and so I'm just doing this so that I can go on…

Review pleaaaaase! Any reviews will fuel more and more ABCDMHG drabbles. I have U, V, W, X, Y, and Z left. That's not much!! Yay! Spread the love, and if you truly love me, you'll go review my friend larrythestapler's fics too because they rock and she just posted up a bunch of more things.

REUSE, REDUCE, RECYCLE!!!!!!!!!! Haha, I need to add some love for the Earth into this. I bet it'll get me into Mother Nature's good graces. And if you guys REUSE, REDUCE, RECYCLE!!!!!!!!!!, you'll be in her good graces too! And if you already REUSE, REDUCE, RECYCLE!!!!!!!!!!, then you rock my socks...never mind. I'm not wearing socks.

XOXO

Flame

PS: -gasp- School started back up today! I'll probably be posting more often now. Hehe. Yeah, I know… I make no sense… I write less during summer than during the school year. That's cuz of my lack of paying attention in class and lack of fanfiction to read in class.


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